‘Walker’ Quietly Explores Guilt, Helping and Masculinity in ‘We’ve Been Here Before’

This week’s episode of Walker saw the search for the Jackal heat up (along with Cassie and Luna), while James, on the other hand, refuses to warm up to Cordell at all after their falling out. It’s an episode all about how our past impacts our present, for better or worse. And underneath, it’s a quiet exploration of some of the ways in which masculinity is defined, toxic and otherwise, and how that impacts our ability to help others – and accept that help for ourselves.

This show is often so much deeper than it seems at first watch, and this episode was no exception.

Down the Rabbit Hole (Again)

Picking up where last week left off, Walker reluctantly fills James in on their new leads on the Jackal, taking him to their wall of Supernatural-looking case notes.

They announce it to the news and all put their heads together to try to stop this guy before he keeps going on another killing spree.

Det. Luna pulls his hair back. Yes, this is an important note.

Cordell is still worried about James, who’s noticeably cool to him. (What a great shot showing this dynamic!)

In fact, lots of people are kinda hard on him recently. Geri has to do all the exposition of what happened to lead up to Walker and James’ rift, which makes it sound like she’s critical of him trying to protect Larry. She also tells him to focus more on being a Ranger and not a co-owner of the Side Step, going to meet with an influencer about opening another bar without him. She’s not wrong that he can’t be in three places at once, but he looks a little sad to be left out.

Then Kelly comes over wanting to make a plan to keep James grounded, and tells him that Larry’s more or less forgiven her, when it’s clear he hasn’t forgiven Cordell.

Poor guy is trying to keep everyone happy and it really isn’t working. Kelly wants him to make sure James doesn’t drown, but how is he supposed to do that?? I feel like he’s being set up to be blamed when things go off the rails again. And his guilt from what happened before is making him just shoulder all that responsibility anyway.

In spite of the exposition scene, Geri and Cordell are in a good place, though. There’s a tender little scene where she helps him button his shirt sleeve cuffs later in the episode.

Helping – the ethics and value of giving help, as well as the sometimes underestimated value of being able to receive help – is the underlying theme of this episode, along with how many messages we take from our past in trying to make those decisions. Sometimes it’s such a simple thing, like letting someone help you button your shirt, that deepen a relationship. Relationships can’t prosper if no vulnerability is allowed, and I’m really happy to see that Cordell and Geri are letting that happen, toxic masculinity be damned.

Some shows talk about these little things more obviously, which can be powerful; Walker does it quietly, the way these little things that are nevertheless important play out in our everyday lives. And that too is powerful.

The episode pulls the viewer in on the mystery that is trying to figure out who the Jackal is. Interestingly, the motel room had zero DNA, which makes me instantly worried that’s because Det. Luna was of course there already. I do not want him to be the bad guy!! Poor Cassie doesn’t need another Kevin experience (and isn’t it ominous that the title of the episode is We’ve Been Here Before… I hope that doesn’t apply to Cassie here too!)

Happy birthday Sam Winchester! (2024 Edition)

Today is the birthday of one of my favorite fictional characters of all time. He hasn’t been on my TV screen in almost four years, and I have missed him every single day since then – just like I’ve missed the show he was on, the one that changed my life, Supernatural. Every time I have the pleasure of seeing the actor who brought him to life so brilliantly, Jared Padalecki, it makes me incredibly happy to hear Jared say that he’s 99.99% sure that Sam Winchester will be back. And that until that happens, he’s keeping Sam safe, as a cherished part of himself.

I am so grateful – and walk around with my fingers and toes crossed all the time hoping for more Supernatural. It’s uncomfortable, but hey, this is important.

And so is Sam’s birthday! One of the great things about social media (and yes, there are plenty of not-so-great things too) is that whatever you’re celebrating, you probably won’t have to do it alone. Sam Winchester’s birthday is no exception. For the past five days, the SPN Family has been celebrating the smart, sassy, selfless, adorable and badass younger Winchester brother, me included.  (Thanks to DaenerysM on X/Twitter for organizing!)

So I thought I’d share here some of the things Supernatural fans appreciate so much about our beloved Sammy.

One of the things that impresses me the most about Sam is his ability to be selfless – to put others ahead of himself, to sacrifice himself to save someone else. That someone else is often his brother – and it definitely goes both ways – but sometimes it’s a stranger, or even humanity itself. Many of us will sacrifice a lot for a loved one, but for a stranger, or the amorphous “the sake of the world”? That’s a rarity. But it’s one of Sam’s most admirable characteristics.

Here are some posts that fans made about Sam’s ability to be selfless:

Even when Sam is dying, he tries to put others first.

Many fans cited “The Born Again Identity” as a great example. Look at my poor baby!

An instance of Sam’s selflessness that I love is “The Born Again Identity”. His hell PTSD is at its worst and he’s dying of sleep deprivation, yet he’s still helping people, helping a young girl who was being haunted by her dead brother.

Sam had SO many selfless acts, but this one is probably my fav, bc after a psychotic break causing by hallucinations, after getting hit by a car and getting drugs to try to sleep, Sam still helped someone, because it’s who he is.

He was dying. He was in constant torment thanks to Hallucifer. And he used the last dregs of his energy and sanity to save a girl, because Sam Winchester cares more about others than he ever has himself. 

The devil is in his head, Lucifer depriving him of sleep, tired beyond belief, and he still sees the danger that someone is in and helps them. My sweet brave Selfless Sam.

When he was dying in “Red Meat” he also was more concerned about others – in this case once again, strangers. (That episode was often cited for Sam being badass, but he’s selfless in it too).

Sam Winchester is the most selfless character like there’s a bullet in his gut but all he cares about is the victims, asks Dean to take care of them first and he knows he slows them down so he tells them to ditch him and find help, putting others b4 himself.

Season 8 ends with an episode called “Sacrifice”, which is all about Sam doing just that.

The heartbreaking sequence near the end when Dean tries to talk him out of it is one of my favorite scenes of the whole show, but Sam’s “So?” in response to Dean telling him if he does this he’ll die will never not make me tear up.

One fan noted:

Sam always sacrificed his own well-being for the greater good. he took on the tablet trials and put himself in front of people to protect them. his mind and body were used and abused time after time but he didn’t care. he was truly selfless

Sam was ready to sacrifice himself in Season 10 too, when it came right down to it in a showdown with Death, because Dean said that was the only way to make things right. He knelt down and told Dean to do it, but not before he tried to absolve his brother of the guilt he knew would destroy him. Fans quoted Sam saying this to Dean, and meaning it:

You will never ever hear me say that you — the real you — is anything but good. But you’re right. Before you hurt anyone else, you have to be stopped, at any cost. I understand. Do it.”

Both of the brothers put each other first in both small and major ways throughout the series, as fans noted. Starting right at the beginning with the pilot episode.

This moment where he decides to risk what to him is the perfect life to help his brother is also an incredibly selfless act. 

And continuing throughout the entire fifteen seasons.

Walker Gets Dark with ‘Insane B.S. and Bloodshed’

Walker is both a family drama and a crime fighting mystery drama. So far this season, we’ve had more of the family drama, which if you’ve been reading my reviews, you know I’ve enjoyed. I’m usually not quite as drawn into the case focused episodes, but this one was an exception – the show is getting as dark as it probably has so far with the Jackal, and it’s pretty compelling.

And disturbing.

There a lot of interesting team-ups in this episode, some new and some long-standing (but maybe soon-to-be-disrupted…)

Stella and Augie Team Up With Witt

I wonder if the situation with Witt will somehow wind into the Jackal case too, or if it’s separate. The episode also saw a lot happening with Witt and Stella, after we left off the last episode with Witt holding Sadie and Stella at gunpoint and ordering them to “just drive”.

Witt, after forcing Stella and Sadie to drive him away from HQ, insists they’re on the same side. I can understand why they’d be a bit skeptical, Witt!

He says that the shady and scary woman who hired him to steal a necklace from Geri’s house (and got him shot when Stella and Sadie came back there) is after him. Turns out it was his accomplice who died in that burning car – Witt switched their wallets so he could play dead. He feels as guilty about the other man dying as Stella did when she thought she accidentally killed him.

Sadie: All this insane BS and bloodshed is over a frickin’ necklace??

Apparently yes.

Witt gives them his gun and says he wouldn’t blame them if they shot him, but he’s asking for their help finding the necklace and he’s sorry for what he put them through. Then he walks away, leaving Stella holding the gun and sobbing.

Sadie tries to console her, but all the emotions Stella has been trying to swallow all this time, believing she killed Witt, just come pouring out. I thought Violet Brinson did an amazing job showing Stella’s breakdown, the way her face just crumples as Witt walks away. Ouch.

Sadie and Stella go to HQ to tell her dad, but then Stella has second thoughts. She doesn’t want Witt to go to jail, and wants to help him instead. She now feels a connection with him, knowing what it feels like to be responsible for someone else’s death. This time Sadie is the voice of reason, but Stella prevails. Like father like daughter, Stella wants to wait until they find out more about the necklace before they tell her dad.

Sadie’s not having it.

Sadie: You insist on carrying around this misguided guilt, and I won’t carry it too. We can end this right now, I wish you’d see that.

While the two are arguing about whether to confide in Cordell, Augie and Liam are at Cordell’s waiting for Stella, who had promised to come back there but hasn’t shown up. The two decide to eat massive amounts of midnight steak nachos in some odd masculine ritual about bulking up, make themselves half sick, and make lots of jokes about stinking up the bathroom (which has to be an inside joke for Jared Padalecki, whose reputation for being “gassy” precedes him on this set too I’m sure).

Augie is worried about Stella, but Liam has been told by so many people to leave her alone that he’s reluctant to be intrusive.

Liam: I heard loud and clear that we should stop hounding her so I’m staying out of it.

Walker Episode 4.03 Learns some ‘Lessons From the Gift Shop’

Although we’re only on episode 3 of Walker Season 4, it’s a briefer season and that means that in the real world, the show just wrapped for the season! The cast was clearly emotional about the wrap and at the same time full of anticipation and excitement for this new season, which made for some interesting social media posts leading up to this week’s episode.

Jared Padalecki asked some of his castmates for some words to describe this season.

I guess they’re going with Frittata.

Not everyone was on board with that, though.

Suffice it to say, this cast always has fun together. And it sounds like the season is gonna be a real rollercoaster!

Jared was at a convention in Rome this past weekend and talked about being anxious about the fate of this show, since they don’t know yet whether they’ll be picked up for a fifth season. He said he wasn’t worried about himself, that he and Gen would be fine, but that he was worried about their cast and crew, and didn’t want them to have to be searching for a job. I love the genuine caring they all have for each other, something that we saw year after year on the Supernatural set too.

Fingers crossed for a Season 5!

So, on to episode 3…

This episode is all about our ‘things’. Physical, psychological, emotional. What we keep and what we decide to give up, and how we all make those decisions differently. How they change at different times of our lives as the meaning of all the “things we carry” changes over time. As someone who is probably too sentimental about a lot of things, I could relate to many of the characters’ struggles – so, as usual, I enjoyed this episode the most for its psychological explorations.

I’m guessing the title too is meant to hold multiple meanings. Yes, we buy things at the gift shop, and maybe they become souvenirs of experiences we want to remember. But some of the most important gifts we get in life aren’t things at all – love, caring, understanding, friendship, a gentle challenge. The space to be who we are and where we want to be. Space in every sense of the word.

This was a surprisingly deep episode, in other words!

Once again, the interconnected relationships also make the show work a lot more smoothly now. The becoming-family bond between Cassie and Liam is one of the relationships that I’m really enjoying.

Cassie and Liam, Giving Space and Taking Space

The episode begins with Cassie packing up some things that Geri had left in the spare bedroom that’s now hers, automatically assuming they might have some meaning to her now housemate.

Ben wants her to clean her stuff out of his storage unit (and bring those to Geri’s or donate them to a charity sale they’re having soon at Ranger HQ). Cassie’s been unwilling to put down roots for most of her life, but transferring things from a storage unit to a house is a step toward putting down those roots, symbolizing a new phase of life for Cassie.

She asks Liam to help her clean it out. Liam has been trying so hard to help everyone else. He wants Cordell and Trey to check out a podcast on Kintsugi –  “embracing the broken and rolling that history into the future”. Could there be a more apt podcast for the repeatedly traumatized Walker clan?? Of course no one else is very interested.

Walker Season 4 Pulls at the Heartstrings with Maybe It’s Maybelline!

The second episode of Season 2 continued the show’s exploration of all kinds of family transitions, especially those of being a parent as your kids grow up – always way too fast! After a widely-watched season premiere, the fandom was eagerly awaiting the second episode, and the numbers were great once again as many fans tuned in. Let’s keep it up this week for episode 3!

We got some teasers again, including a proud Jeff Pierre letting us know that his character’s hot date in this episode was his real life wife!

This episode definitely did pull at my heartstrings, but it also introduced a guest character that I thoroughly enjoyed – and who had some much-needed words of wisdom for Cordell.

Transitions

In its fourth season, Walker has gotten much better at integrating its story lines and its cast, so that none of the arcs or characters feel shoe-horned in anymore, and the transition from scene to scene is smoother. Geri and Cassie are the latest in the newly close relationships, and I’m here for it. They come back from a run together and Cassie tells Geri that she’s not going back to the FBI – in fact, it’s time for her to lay down some roots.

Also, Cassie has a cute nickname for Geri – Geri-rigged.

We eventually find out that Cassie is gonna be laying down those roots at Geri’s place –  they’re now roomies!

This episode continues the theme from last week, as Cordell struggles with both his kids growing up and soon moving out, and the fear that the quiet in their wake will be hard for him. Augie is definitely growing up WAY too fast, working out and doing an end run around his dad by asking his Gramps to sign a permission slip for a high school boot camp readiness program. Bonham, to his credit, keeps his boundaries where they should be and says he won’t sign – but he will talk to Cordell about it.

Bonham goes to Trey’s to talk to him about it too, since Trey is the one teaching the boot camp. Trey is getting ready to host a hot date (played by his actual wife), opening the door to a knock with a rose and a “hello, gorgeous” only to find it’s Bonham.

Mitch Pileggi plays Bonham’s reaction perfectly.

Bonham wants Trey to let August join his boot camp prep course; Trey too says Walker has to approve.

Finally, Bonham brings the permission slip to his son, who accuses him of interfering and asks him to stay out of it, August is his son. Which, valid – but Cordell is gonna have to deal with it instead of burying himself in the Jackal case to avoid it.

Bonham confesses to Abby that he’s been “meddling”, but he also says he knows a thing or two about raising boys, and that you can’t tell them not to do something or they’ll do just that.

Abeline: Please tell me more about raising two boys.

Me: I love you, Abeline.

Walker Returns for Season 4 with ‘The Quiet’

There was a lot of anticipation for the season premiere of Walker last week – it’s the show’s fourth season, and it’s made a switch to Wednesday night, but fans were happy to follow it to its new day, posting their excitement online after the long, long wait.

Graphic by laurenxann

The cast and crew were equally excited – it was a long long break between seasons with the strike going on. They posted some bts photos and Jared Padalecki even took over the Walker Instagram for some fun videos.

We also got some hints that the premiere episode was gonna be a little racy…

Which of course amped the excitement up even more!

The season premiere opens 5 months later – after a reminder of the reappearance of The Jackal, the reappearance of “Cordri” (the Geri and Cordell romance) to the elation of those who ‘ship it’, and the missing body after Stella and Sadie’s break in.  The episode is a treat for the Cordri shippers, opening with some Geri and Cordi making out – waiting all these seasons really created a lot of passion! I don’t ship it but I don’t not ship it, so good for you, Cordell and Geri.

gifs abordelimpala

Edit by lemondropsonice

Also Geri looks hot in his oversized shirt and a disheveled Cordell who really really doesn’t wanna go into work right now is a very good thing.

It’s Cordell’s birthday – Geri surprises him with a little cupcake before he reluctantly has to leave for work – more reluctant about leaving Geri than not eating the cupcake though.

He’s saving room for a big steak eating competition at the Grand Lonestar. Augie isn’t thrilled about it, but Geri wants to surprise her man by the whole family being there too.  Abeline, I’ve missed you!!

Also I’m happy that Ben’s eating breakfast with the Walkers so I guess things are going well with him and Liam. Lots of happiness it seems….which I’m sure means something will go very wrong soon.

First Supernatural Con of 2024 comes to Burbank!

This year the powers that be put a Supernatural convention during my spring break – yay! That meant I was able to travel to California, spend some time with my daughter in the Bay area, then take a short flight to Burbank for the con.  The hotel is one of my all time favorite con hotels, with a lovely pool and a spacious outdoor dining restaurant right there between the con area and the hotel itself. It was the perfect place to gather and have a drink and a bite in between panels and events, which was great because I got to reconnect with some friends I haven’t seen in far too long.

I also met alot of wonderful new people and fans of Supernatural – and of The Boys, including this mini Homelander who was adorable!

Shout out to everyone who came to say hi in the vendor room and picked up a copy of one of the books with chapters by the Supernatural actors and fans, Family Don’t End With Blood and There’ll Be  Peace When You Are Done – or everyone who just stopped by to tell me they’d already read them and enjoyed them!  We were also able to bring the new book on ‘The Boys’ to this con – let me know what you think if you picked one of those up. It should catch you up and get you ready for Season 4 in a few months – can’t wait!

There was a substantial break in between the last convention of 2023 back in December and this one in mid March – so everyone was extra happy to be reunited, both fans and cast. And we were treated to some guests we hadn’t seen in far longer than that!

I inevitably miss a few people thanks to working in the vendor room, but I managed to catch quite a few this time – It was wonderful to have Lisa Berry back at a con. She talked about how she was already a passionate Supernatural fan when she was cast on the show, and then finding out there were so many other passionate fans! She enjoyed fans’ complicated canon questions because she is a fan herself.

Lisa: In my incarnation of Billie, she was always right next to Death.

Her character was continually frustrated with Sam and Dean.

Lisa: Billie’s whole thing with the Winchesters is that they always kept coming back to life. Now fangirl Lisa, she was like YES!

Favorite line?

Lisa: Hey.

It’s true, she could give Billie one word to say and it would come out memorable. She said that sometimes she was flown into Vancouver just to turn around to the camera and say ‘hey’!

One of her favorite scenes was the one in the library with Dean, with all the books.

Lisa: Jensen was so generous in that scene – everyone there is, so it’s safe to play.

A fan stepped up to the mic and shared that she had an AKF tattoo.

Lisa: That’s awesome – and yes please do (always keep fighting)!

It was also wonderful to have Matt Cohen back at conventions. I came into the ballroom a little late and Matt was standing in front of the stage and when I walked up the center aisle, he swept me into a hug to say it was good to see me – not a bad way to start the day! He made his way around the entire ballroom to greet everyone he possibly could. It was early so it wasn’t all that crowded, but the people who were there were treated to a great panel.

It does, however, mean that I hardly got any photos of Matt as he walked around.

Matt: There’s no better place to be in terms of diversity and acceptance than the SPNFamily.

Happy Birthday Jensen Ackles! Here’s to 46!

Every year when March 1st rolls around and it’s Jensen Ackles’ birthday once again, I find myself feeling grateful that the man who brought to life two of my favorite fictional characters ever (aka Dean Winchester and Soldier Boy) is happy and healthy and enriching our lives with his creative presence. This year is no exception – whether it was playing a part as a talented actor, entertaining us at a convention, showing off his great form at the golf course, hyping some Supe Juice at the brewery or just selfies with family, friends and fans, I’m grateful for everything he shared with us this past year.

So let’s celebrate Jensen Ackles heading into his 46^th year with a little look back at some of the highlights of his 45^th!

March was the finale of The Winchesters, which saw the return of Dean Winchester, defying the laws of God (Chuck) and time to defeat an enemy threatening an alternate universe John and Mary – and ultimately Dean’s little brother, still alive in the universe of Supernatural we know and love. We all know Dean will do whatever it takes to save Sam, and he proved it once again – even after he was already settled into Heaven!

The spring saw Jensen roadtripping across the country with Clif to join his family in a new house in Connecticut, which gave us some travel glimpses along the way. Hopefully they’re having a blast renovating the house and enjoying the East coast weather for a change of pace.

In the spring, I was lucky enough to go to some conventions in the US, including the one in New Orleans in May. One of my favorite cities in the world.

Jensen showed off his “model poses” much to everyone’s amusement.

Happy Birthday Dean Winchester, 2024 Style!

It’s January 24, 2024. This is the fourth January 24^th without Supernatural, and you might think that Dean Winchester’s birthday would no longer be important. That maybe it might be a day like any other, without recognition or celebration. That surely the fandom would have moved on by now.

But you’d be wrong. And I am SO grateful!

It’s been a week of the hashtag #HappyBirthdayDeanWeek with fans recalling our favorite Dean moments each day. That means my timeline has been extra awesome, because I still can’t think of anything I’d rather be thinking about (and seeing) than Dean Winchester.  It’s really saying something about how complex both the character and the portrayal were that fandom has continued to disagree about his motivations and personality traits, his heroism and his failures, who he loves and what he values and who he wants to be, right on through the end of the show and going on four years later. There’s still brand new fanfic being written with Dean Winchester in a starring (or co-starring) role and there are still fan conventions that draw thousands of people and elicit questions about the show and the character. And again, I’m so grateful.

I’m also thankful that the gifted actor how brought him to life continues to love Dean Winchester too – and to keep him safe, as he said, “right here with me.”  Jensen’s insights in the book There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done include what he misses about Dean – his badassery, his humility, his vulnerability.

Jensen: It has been a privilege to play a character like Dean who has inspired so many people, because any excuse to give up is not an excuse that is good enough for the Winchesters. This is who they are. They fought because they believed in what they were fighting for, and that’s a part of the show that people connect with—to keep fighting the good fight, not giving up because the odds are stacked against you. Supernatural embodies that kind of resilience. I think Dean’s legacy is that he never gives up. He keeps fighting no matter what. The show carries the message to always keep fighting for each other, and that has inspired the fandom to keep fighting too, whatever fight they are facing.

He has also said he didn’t think he would ever say goodbye to Dean Winchester – that for him and for Jared Padalecki, the characters are woven into the fabric of their makeup and who they are as individuals.

Over the past year, both Jared and Jensen have talked about how much they’d like to bring back Sam and Dean and Supernatural. A limited series, a movie, a reboot of some kind. Maybe a chance to explore that “sweet spot” between besting Chuck and that fateful day in the barn. Maybe a “we’re needed” hiatus from Heaven. Some fans are concerned that any continuation of the series might mess with the canon that is awesome the way it is, or that the quality might be closer to late seasons inconsistency than early seasons artistry. I share those concerns but I would happily take the risk to have the Winchester brothers back!

The industry is all over the place right now, so who knows if it will be possible, but it’s a comfort to me knowing that Jensen and Jared want them back too. I’ve loved their other work – I’m about to mail Jensen his contributor copy of the new book, Supes Ain’t Always Heroes, which takes a deep dive into The Boys and Soldier Boy (including Jensen’s insights into that fascinating character). So clearly I love that show and character too!

But I will always miss Dean Winchester. Always.

Here are my favorite moments that I tweeted for this past week’s celebration. Isn’t it obvious why I am quite sure there will never be another character like Dean Winchester??

Day One – Fave young Dean childhood memory

I chose A Very Supernatural Christmas, the moment when Sam gifts Dean the Samulet. I vividly remember watching that episode when it aired and being so emotional. We knew Dean’s amulet well by then – I think I even owned a replica – but we didn’t know its backstory. To find out that it had been special to the brothers since their childhood, that it symbolized how they stuck together and had each other’s backs since they were little, often the two of them against the world – that made the amulet even more special.

Day Two – Fave comedic Dean moment

There are SO many to choose from, but I think the time I’ve laughed the hardest in this entire series is during the “bad acting” scene in The French Mistake. Dean’s FACE! That whole episode is a showcase for the comedic acting chops of Jared, Jensen and Misha – they are all beyond brilliant, including in this scene. Even though I’ve seen it countless times, I STILL cannot watch it without laughing out loud.

Though alot of other hilarious moments come to mind too…

Day Three – Fave action moment

I’ll sound like a broken record if I keep saying “there are so many” but….

For this, I chose one of the earlier Dean moments that made a huge impact. The end of Season 2, when there had been so much build up to the Winchesters trying to kill the Yellow Eyed Demon who destroyed their lives, and so much heartbreak when Sam was killed (and then resurrected), that the final showdown felt amazing. And when Dean aimed his gun and that bullet flew? DAYUM. Talk about Dean Winchester badassery. No wonder Jensen missed that aspect of playing Dean!

There were a few runners up that I saw on my timeline this week too, with good reason! That Reverse 180? Is it hot in here?

Day Four – Fave emotional moment

Broken record again, but seriously, the emotional moments are what really made me fall in love with this Show.

So I’ll choose one of the emotional moments that did that – that sealed the deal and landed me here, 16 years later, still missing Dean Winchester. It’s the scene at the end of Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things, when Dean pulls the Impala over on a gorgeous mountainside and opens up to Sam about how he’s really feeling. I remember watching it and the papers I was grading (yes, with a pen, it was a long time ago) just sliding right off my lap onto the floor as I stared open mouthed. This show – this character – I realized, was so much more than a little horror show on the CW. Holy shit, it was SO much more! All the kudos to Jensen for showing us just how deeply Dean Winchester feels, and to Eric Kripke for writing him that way.

Runner up was this scene that many others chose – one of the first times that Dean makes himself vulnerable, admitting to Sam that what he longs for, more than anything, is for them to be a family again. Kim Manners talked about how Jensen struggled with that scene, but as always – maybe because of that struggle – it ended up being incredibly moving and powerful.

Day Five – Fave inspirational Dean moment

This was a harder one, because (like Jensen) I find Dean inspiring in many ways, including his refusal to give up, his determination to Always Keep Fighting, his loyalty to his friends, and his unwavering support of his little brother.

There are many moments when Dean proves his love to Sam and the lengths he’s willing to go to in order to protect his family, and they all inspire me. Sure, the Winchesters probably shouldn’t sell their souls for each other or let the world burn to save the other, but that’s what’s so great about fictional characters – they are so damn compelling even when in real life that might not be a great idea. Or, you know, super healthy. But it’s so much of what I love about this show and this character. This is one of my favorite ones, when Dean lays it all out for Sam to save him from finishing the trials – and dying.

Day Six –

Fave moment of chemistry with another person

Call it Sam and Dean or call it Jared and Jensen, but the chemistry they’ve had since day one is what is widely acknowledged as the secret sauce to the show’s success. They have chemistry when they’re teasing each other like every annoying sibling ever, who nevertheless would have your back no matter what.

They have chemistry when they’re doing what they do (hunting) and they have chemistry when they’ve got each other’s backs. They’re so in sync sometimes they fall into step without even realizing it.

They have chemistry on the show and chemistry on the gag reels and chemistry at conventions.

From the very first season to the very last.

No wonder I miss watching them so much!

The last day is post whatever you want, so I’ll just close with a few Dean moments that make me smile. Sam and Dean belting out Night Moves driving along in Baby, a rare moment of pure fun, the two of them on the road in the car that was always home.

Dean and Cas sharing a drink and a laugh, another rare moment when the universe wasn’t on the verge of falling apart (at that very moment) and Dean could take the time to relax and enjoy Castiel’s company.

Dean mowing the lawn in WIAWSNB, so happy to be doing such a mundane thing. It wasn’t even reality, but somehow that makes it even more poignant. He had so little of “normalcy” and doing that for his mother brought so much joy.

Dean leaping over that fence like it’s nothing… okay, that’s a different kind of smile inspiring. Still, favorite moment, I’m not gonna lie…

Let’s end with this one, another moment of happiness. A morning tradition – an armful of fluffy affectionate Miracle. Sam and Dean having time to actually develop ordinary at-home traditions, what kind of miracle is that? If you can be glad for a fictional character, I’m glad for Dean, that he had all that.

If you’re missing Dean Winchester and Supernatural too, you can read the two books all about why the show and its characters have changed people’s lives, from the perspectives of fans and from the perspectives of the actors who brought them to life so vividly – including Jensen, Jared, Misha and many more. It always makes me happy to read how much they love their characters and the show and the fandom – no coincidence that There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done  ends with Jensen’s chapter and the words:

And let’s be clear. Supernatural will never end. The show might, but what it has built? This will never end. Besides, nothing ever stays dead on Supernatural.

Damn right.

Happy birthday, Dean Winchester.

I hope I get to see you again soon.

Gifs peach-coke, Incastielswings, heytheredean, kendaspntwd, samdeans, roadtripwithmybrother, ambrina, mishaa, theminimoose

Lynn

You can read Jensen’s thoughts on Dean and

Jared’s thoughts on Sam and many other

actors’ insights in There’ll Be Peace When

You Are Done and Family Don’t End With

Blood (and Jensen’s thoughts on

Soldier Boy in Supes Ain’t Always Heroes)

Links here on the home page!

Last Supernatural Con of 2023 – Nashville!

The last con of the year is always emotional. I am filled with gratitude that we still have these conventions to celebrate a show that’s been off the air for three years, but that I still love dearly. I used to think that for sure they’d be done by now, so every year that we still get to have these fandom reunions with fellow Supernatural fans and the cast feels like a gift. They’ve expanded now to include the actors’ other projects, but the core of the cons is still Supernatural, and I’m thankful.

My friend (and talented photographer) Kim Prior was supposed to come with me, but was sick unfortunately, so I staffed the vendor table mostly by myself – and thus missed a lot of panels that I would have loved to see. On the plus side, this was the first con with Supes Ain’t Always Heroes, our new book on The Boys, so that was exciting to share. And, as is usually the case, there were many friends to catch up with and toast the holiday season and the New Year.

I met up with my friend Sadie on Friday at an amazing little restaurant called Rosemary and The Queen. One of the best things about cons in Nashville is that the food and drink are AMAZING!

All the ambience (their playlist even included some classic Lou Reed!), great drinks and food, and an outdoor patio twinkling with multicolored lights. Some good conversation and what more could you ask? (Stay tuned for more on season 2 of Sadie’s ‘In Defense of Fandom’ podcast coming up)

On Saturday I finally caught a panel – Misha Collins, whose panels I never ever miss. Misha is following the post-SPN tradition of being long-haired and bearded and it’s working well on him just like it is for Jared and Jensen. (Though I’m probably in the minority of being ready for the beards to be gone. Luckily it is not at all up to me!)

Misha’s panel started late, but he promised to pack a lot into a slightly shorter panel – and he did!

He kicked it off with a hug for Rob. Awwww.

As for what’s keeping him busy right now, Misha let us know that he’s writing – something that might be a novel, in fact! (I like to think I kick started his return to writing when he wrote a chapter for ‘Fan Phenomena Supernatural’ almost a decade ago. He also has a heartfelt chapter on fandom in ‘Family Don’t End With Blood’ and of course his beautiful book of poetry and his cookbook.

It was nice to have the strike over and the actors able to talk about their work, past and present.

Misha: Now I can say SUPERNATURAL SUPERNATURAL SUPERNATURAL!